Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Emerson: The chicken didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Captain Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Agent Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Ralph Nader: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Plato: For the greater good.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? Where do they get these chickens?"

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Thoreau: To live deliberatelyand suck all the marrow out of life.

Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

before i forget

bless the moment i got it wrong

once,twice and...stop

ma invart ca un coi intr-o galeata,ne invartim.si asteptam ceva fara sa stim sigur ce e.asteptam vara,seara...kkt,astepam si sa faca gigi ocolul ;).si de parca asta nu ar fi destul de rau niciodata nu ne multumim cu ce primim.parca mergea mai mult,se putea mai bine.data viitoare...
anxietatea e mai rea decat sevrajul.cine stie,cunoaste.luna asta imi bag piciorele.

...

Old Crafty - The fish - The legend

On a lazy weekend in Orgrimmar I found myself putting a few brews back and tossin' a line. It approached that time of day when the sun hit the tree line and every fisherman knows that it's magic hour - the time when legends are made. The mosquitoes were thick and I was weary from the sun's power that day but I decided to cast just one more time before Retiring. The cast was long - a country mile - and I was taking my time reelin it in as I looked back on the day's catch and how good a fish fry sounded for dinner when I noticed something...

there was a swirl of water around my bobber and although it was getting darker by the minute I distinctively knew something was interested and I stopped reeling. Left station less the bobber looked like a beacon of light in a black glassy void and sensing I had perplexed the taker I picked up the reeling - this time fast... very fast. I used figure eights and small jerks to simulate injury and as the lure approached the drop off point near the waterfall - the all too familiar heart-snap and adrenaline rush HIT me as I now had - FISH ON

I struggled to control the getaway - releasing just a bit of slack and giving the beast some time to show me it's mettle. I was surprised at the intensity of this one... it clearly was not the typical snapper or catfish... even the 17 pounder I had caught earlier was a breeze to land compared to this... Yes this was something far more sinister.

the line was taught and my pole looked dangerously angled towards water and I knew I had to act quickly. I stood up and pointed the pole at the waterline and drew my arms up and back using raw force to pull the behemoth up and then compensated on the re-draw with a reeling hand so fast - I think I wore out the bearings of my old Penn. On the repeat motion I finally saw something right beneath the surface... something dark and brutal.. something that seemed like it was aching to get a look at ME! Our eyes met and I felt a chill run down my back as I finally beheld the slick engineered looked of this fish. the dorsal was sharp and the fish was long and lean. I grabbed for my net - a net that was now making me nervous with its now miniscule stature in comparison. I went down into the abyss with it, dying to see this fish out of its element and in mine when, as if God himself had cursed this fish, it looked at me and in a blink of an eye - BIT through my spider-line like it was 2lb test!! With a splash in my face I saw a flicker as this missle accelerated into the deep along with my lure.

I sat there on the now dark water's edge in awe - looking at my frayed line. I picked up my stringer and box and started on the journey home. I knew, however, that this would not be my last encounter with the Crafty God of the Orgrimmar Ponds

Part 3

My soul is a idiot.He had to go and complicate things,couldn't leave it alone.I didn't understand.I knew he was happy,but i was sure that things where gonna end bad.Plus,as it often happens in these cases,i was sure Anna was going to suffer as well.Let me say,it's not a good idee to piss off the soul of the end of the world.
I talked to him.I wanted him to see Reason.Ussually Reason is a wise guy that can tell you what's best for you.Unfortunetly Reason was a bit of a mess that day.Drunk as hell,acid coming out of his pores.He had had a bad experience.he was trapped on a sinking ship along with some frinds,Truth,Hope,Greed,Love and others.He was saved but lost one of him friends.Love was the last to get off,didn't make it,and died.She's allways last.
It has hopeless.My soul wasn't listening to me.The end of the world wasn't that happy either.I don't think she was comfortable knowing that her soul was fooling around.We decided to end it.

Sunt fericit

right here ,right now

banila citeaza: "stau inchis in coltul unei camere si ma gandesc...oare !@#$ mi-o belesc".duta doarme.este ora 21:47 si lumina venind din camere caminului de vis-a-vis imi aduce aminte ca trebuia sa dorm.a trecut ceva vreme.vre-o 6 luni."vlaicule ce idiotenie poti sa scrii".nu cunosc numele acestei melodii dar nici nu ma intereseaza.banila zice ca e Floyd.cine dracu mai asculta Floyd zilele astea.sau poate sunt eu prea pesimist.or mai fi copii timizi care refuza sa se prinda.deja e prea mult fum.ma duc mai desenez un tabel din care nu inteleg nimic.noapte buna

Part 2

The months passed,the temperature had risen to a few million degrees and the end of the world was still confused.One day i asked her to have a coffe with me.We had small talk,the usuall: the weather,music,the Apocalipse,how i liked football,how she liked to paint and burn souls and other stuff to pass the time.My doesn't have a name...whatever,he and Anna where at another table and,from what i saw,they here quite happy,smilling to each other and such.I didn't know what to think and the end of the world was to busy with a plague to notice.Things where geting kind of weird.
As we finished our first coffee i started dreaming.My companion was interested.i was telling her about how i thought that the graph of an epuasion in 4 dimensions (3 spatial plus time) could be compered to life.I belived that just like the graph of that 4 variable equasion life is the graph of another equasion,endlessly complex,given by other variables :morallity,thuth,beauty and ,instead of time,perception.
She got bored rather quickly.I ended the conversation,had some coffee and turned to my soul.I had a bit of a shock.He was kissing Anna.

fallen art

Part 1

One day,as i was walking down the street,the end of the world came.She was blonde and had blue eyes...or brown,didn't really notice at the moment.And she walked towards me ,scorching the earth around her,she noticed that i was staring at her.Obviously i didn't realize at that time how rude i was being.She stopped and asked me for a smoke.Six months later i was walking on air.
But the end of the world had other plans.She knew that to simply burn the flesh of a man wasn't enought but rather,in order for him to really suffer,you would need to break his soul.Funny thing about the soul thou;you can't touch it or,in this case,harm it unless it is willingly and deliberately given to you.
So there i was,soulless ,but with an overwellming feeling of joy...i think.The end of the world on the other hand was,for lack of a better word,confused.She could do anything and most of the time she did exactly that.
Does the end end in light?
is there hope there?
does she have a soul?
Most people would say she doesn't need one.And from that fact they assume she doesn't have one.Not true.
If all things have an end ,and if that end is brought by certain actions and is universal to all people then we can only assume that even the end must have an end and there mush be something else after that.That makes no sens.I thought i should say it anyway.
Now,as it turns out,the end of the world did have a soul.It was very well hidden,but it was there.And it's name was Anna.

Time to pretend

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend.

wasted time...trist

00:31 - peste 6 ore trebuie sa ma trezesc pentru a ma duce la examen.Ok,nici o problema,in ultima saptama am invatat din greu,m-am concentrat iar acum sunt cu fortele proaspete.Urmeaza 6 ore in care o sa am un somn linistit pentru ca stiu ca sunt pregatit si ca maine voi trece.
Mda,era o realitate frumoasa.Si poate exista un univers unde alegerile mele au condus spre acesta realitate.Un univers in care am ales cu ani in urma sa nu iau o gura dintr-o sticla,in care nu am tras un fum,in care am avut ambitia sa ma pregatesc pentru facultatea care imi placea...in care saptama asta am ales sa invat mai mult,in care acum 4 ore am ales sa stau in casa pentru a-mi repeta in loc sa ies cu prietenii la o bere.Poate exista dar ce kkt conteaza? ar trebui sa imi regret deciziile? Si daca zici ca da tot nu ma intereseaza.In prisma tuturor alegerilor pe care a trebuit sa le fac sunt convins ca acum sunt la fel de bine pregatit cat voi putea vreodata sa fiu.
I pity regrets.

Nici nu conteaza

Mi-am dat eu seama,dupa ce am meditat foarte putin asupra temei,ca noi,oamenii suntem crescuti in asa fel incat sa privim spre viitor si niciodata sa nu cercetam prezentul.Probabil si-au mai dat si altii seama de chestia asta.Ganditi-va putin: esti in scoala primara,nu gandesti prea mult dar porti o oarecare admiratie pentru colegii mai mari si vrei sa ajungi mai repede acolo.In gimnaziu la fel plus ca mai ai (sunt cel putin eu aveam ) un kkt de examen la sfarsit care "stii ca vine" si no,sa ajungi si tu intr-un liceu bun.Primul an de liceu e ok.Dar iarasi vezi persoane mai in varsta care au libertati mai mari decat ale tale si din nou visezi spre anii ce urmeaza.Cam pe la jumatatea liceului iti dai seama (cu ajutorul altora propabil) ca o sa trebuiasca sa te duci la o facultate.Iei in considerare ce iti place,ce poti,ce iti zic altii si eventual te hotarasti.Iti petreci urmarii ani invatand mai mult sau mai putin pentru alte kkt-uri de examene si intr-un final treci si pe acelea.Si iata-ta : 1 octombrie,prima zi de facultate...esti singur in alt oras (teapa daca nu :P ),cunosti oameni noi,vezi locuri noi.Parca au meritat ultimii 12 ani ca sa ajungi aici.Dupa care vine prima sesiune si probabil ai minunata senzatie ca ai sarit din lac in put.Nasol moment.
Acum vine intrebarea : de ce nu am luat lucrurile one day at a time? Raspunsul evident : exista numai lac si put.

Moment

I look at God behind his desk,taking notes on a pad,but God's got this all wrong.We are not special.We are not crap or trash,either.We just are.And what happens just happens.And God says"No,that's not right."Yeah.Well.Whatever.You can't teach God anything.

...And they say people get bored.

Si pentru ca si de ce nu.Pe principiul (regretabil) daca altii o fac eu ce-am, am luat indrazneata decizie de a ma aventura in lumea *alege o descriere potrivita* a blog'urile.Sunt destul de sigur totusi ca dintre majoritatea persoanele care s-ar putea impiedica de acest blog sunt foarte putin (probabil deloc) interesate de viziunea mea asupra unor subiecte sau de filozofia mea generala asupra existentei noastre marunte.Nasol pentru ei.
Cam atat pentru inceput si...have a nice day :)